[Way] Too Fast, Too Furious

After a reasonably satisfying first date with Jared I accepted his invitation for a second the very next weekend to join him for dinner.

Jared was a slender, Greenwich village dwelling tax attorney with  sarcastic wit and positively compelling intelligence. Though he didn’t fit the traditional description of what I considered ‘my type,’ I found myself with an appetite to get more familiar with him.

Jared took me to a lovely Italian restaurant called Serafina in the Meatpacking District of Manhattan.  We feasted on mussels cooked in white wine sauce, white truffle mushroom risotto, and tagliatelle bolognese with a glass of sambuca to finish things off.

Overall the evening went quite prosperously and when Jared suggested we stop by his apartment for a harmless night cap I graciously obliged.

When we entered his apartment I leaned over to loosen the ties on my stilettos to finally find relief from the agonizing pain that is breaking in a new pair of high heels.

As I ascended, I found Jared standing disturbingly close to me and  completely encroaching upon my bubble of personal space to the point where I felt I may actually take a tumble into the wall behind me.

He intrusively planted a kiss directly on my lips, instantaneously picked me up off the ground, threw me over his shoulder and paraded me into his bedroom while nonsensically giggling. Before I knew it he had thumped me on his mattress and once again aggressively pursued my mouth.

At once I catapulted off the bed.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I asked furiously.

“Oh come on! I was just being playful! I thought we had a good time. What is wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong me ME? I barely know you. We haven’t even kissed yet and you think it’s OK to throw me on your bed? Way too much too fast!”

“I don’t know why you’re freaking out. It’s not a big deal. You need to calm down.”

I expeditiously gathered my shoes and my jacket to make a break for the elevator and into an Uber.

Clearly the next day he still didn’t get it. So much for his compelling intelligence.

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