The Free Re-Flub

After getting back in the saddle subsequent to an unfortunately short-lived ‘relationship’ I met Jeremy, a sprucely styled civil engineer who was three years my junior. Normally I bypass the efforts of a man so much younger than myself, but I figured beggars can’t be choosers I would at least give the young lad a shot.

After chatting about our mutual interest in seeing the new Star Wars flick (yes, I am a nerd) we decided to catch an earlier show followed by a few cocktails later in the evening.

When I arrived at the theater it became very clear that Jeremy was not 6’2 as advertised in his profile. Being 5’10 myself and particularly statuesque in three inch heels, he awkwardly stood a solid two inches shorter than me.

Oh well, next time I will stick to flats. 

Jeremy generously purchased both of our tickets, and after a quick pit stop to the ladies room I was ready to take my seat and enjoy the film.

When I exited the facilities I noticed Jeremy strangely standing by another theater entrance and examining each customer as they exited the screening room when a man casually discarded his extra large popcorn tub into the trash bin.

Shockingly, Jeremy swooped in to retrieve the hand-me-down rubbish directly from the garbage can.

Flabbergasted as to why on earth he would do such a thing, he proudly carried the used tub to the snack bar and had the attendant fill it up with delicious (yet now disgusting) buttery goodness.

He then headed toward my direction completely aware that I witnessed the unfortunate situation and stated, “These big tubs have free refills!”

He simultaneously opened his jacket to reveal he had smuggled in a bottle of Pepsi as well.

Disgusted by the thought of a stranger’s saliva enveloping the popcorn was enough to evade me from indulging in his little snack and evade me from having cocktails after the movie.


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