The Offspring Omission

I met Sean while sitting at the ubiquitous singles table at a high school friend’s nuptials in a swanky TriBeCa ballroom. He had piercing blue eyes, flawless white teeth and an impeccably groomed beard. As we locked eyes across the table for the first time I could hear a voice in my head saying, ‘you’re going to have sex with him.’

After throwing back a few flutes of champagne and rocking out to the obligatory Bon Jovi song on the dance floor, we exchanged numbers and surprisingly retreated to our own hotel rooms following the after party despite an evening of perpetual flirting.

The following week, Sean contacted me and invited me out for a meal.

We sat in a dimly lit wine bar on the Upper East Side and discussed everything from both of our upbringings, to our college years and the hopes we had for the future. When I looked at my watch I was shocked to see how quickly the time had passed us by. The attraction between us was nothing short of insatiable.

As we exited the restaurant he invited me back to his apartment in Gramercy and though I knew I should not give into the temptation, our chemistry was simply impossible to resist. Off to Gramercy I went.

After a lovely evening and some delicious scrambled eggs and hash browns the next morning, I was not regretting my decision whatsoever.  He already invited me to have dinner with him again the following night and I graciously accepted.

When we got to the restaurant for our second date, we sat at the bar to grab a cocktail while we waited for our table to be ready.

As I sipped on my Elderflower martini, an acquaintance of Sean’s approached him to say hello and Sean politely introduced me to the young lady.

“And how are the kids doing?!” She asked.

I nearly spit out my drink. I looked Sean dead in the face and he was about 4 shades paler than he was just seconds before.

“They are great. Doing well….you know.”

“Aww that’s great to hear. I saw your little Rachel on the playground the other day and she told me all about how her daddy took her to the circus. She was just raving about it!”

At this time the hostess came to collect us and take use to our table as we both bid the woman farewell.

We sat down and I clearly had a bone to pick.

“So…you have kids? We discussed just about everything one can discuss about each other’s lives the other night and you just so happen to omit the minor detail that you have children? How many??”

“Three. I have three. And I didn’t really think it was any of your business. I was going to tell you when I was ready.”

“Well, it is my business and I think it is shady that you kept it hidden considering all we’ve talked about.”

“Why should this change things? They live with their mother uptown and I only have to deal with them twice a month. It’s almost like I don’t even have them.”

While struggling to decipher whether it was more disgusting lying to me or proudly proclaiming to be a dead beat dad, I decided it didn’t matter. It was time to go back to my apartment and catch up on Game of Thrones and no longer ‘deal with’ Sean, just as he does his poor children.

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One thought on “The Offspring Omission”

  1. There’s an unhappy ending to this? You both got what you wanted – a roll in the hay. You also learned a valuable lesson about outside gift wrapping hiding a rotten core.

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