Tab Split Little Sh*t

Lawrence, a preppy risk management analyst who lived on the Upper East Side, and I had been on several dates and things seemed to be going quite swimmingly. Though I wasn’t exactly sure if I was enamored with him, I did find his company gratifying enough to continue our courtship.

One day Lawrence texted me from work and informed me that he was given tickets to a suite at the hockey game where the New York Islanders were playing the Pittsburgh Penguins. Being that I am  a devoted Penguins fan, I had planned on attending the game that anyways, so it worked out just perfectly.

Usually suites have free food and alcohol but for one reason or another these tickets were given away at no charge so there were no snacks or beverages to be found. No big deal! To the bar we go!

I asked Lawrence what his alcohol preference was and purchased a Lagunitas and a Copa Pinot Grigio (yes, I am that girl that drinks wine at sporting events. Don’t judge me).

We settled into our seats in the suite to watch the puck drop and I just so happened to meet another girl from Pittsburgh and we soon got lost in nostalgic conversation about life back in ‘The Burgh.’

Lawrence noticed that both of our drinks were empty and he asked if I was planning on getting another…as if that was even a question. He lingered there for a few awkward minutes and he finally retreated to the bar to get us another round.

When the bottoms were up on round two, it was my turn to get a round, which is exactly what I did.

For round three we also decided that we should indulge ourselves some nachos and chicken fingers. We are at a sporting event after all.

“How about you wait in line for the drinks and I will go grab the food and we will meet back here?” I suggested.

“Right, OK.”

My spidey sensed told me he seemed a bit perturbed, but I chalked it up to a stressful day at the office.

When the game was over and we left the Barclay’s Center, it was clear that his frustrations were aimed at me.

“What is with you tonight? You are being really short with me and kind of rude.” I said.

“Well it is slightly annoying that I was nice enough to get you these tickets and you don’t even have the decency to treat me to drinks and nachos. You just have terrible manners.”

“I’m sorry, what? Pretty sure I bought half of your drinks and I DID buy the nachos. Also, these tickets were given to you. Regardless, I do very much appreciate you taking me, but If you are going to extend an invitation you cannot do so with the expectation that the person you’re inviting is going to pay for everything else. We split the drinks, and had I bought everything it would have been $200 with how high prices are in the arena I could have bought my own damn tickets then.”

After he berated me for being ungrateful and unappreciative, we decided to go our separate ways.

At least the Penguins won.

Go Pens.

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