By the spring of 2015 I was feeling slightly discontented with my circumstances considering I was officially the only member of my social circle that was not married. Not only was I not yet committed to the holy vows of matrimony, I didn’t even have a boyfriend.
The silver lining to my friends dropping off the market like flies was that the men in their lives brought in new prospects for a single gal such as myself. My dear friend Margot introduced me to her husband’s friend Bryan.
Bryan seemed like quite the catch. Easy on the eyes, stable employment and no excess baggage that I was aware of. What more could a bachelorette desire in potential a suitor?
I arrived at the gastropub he selected on the Upper West Side at 7 PM. I am historically very punctual and I know how terribly unpredictable subways can be on the weekends so I wasn’t bothered too much by the fact that he was 15 minutes late. I sipped on a glass of Cabernet and anticipated his arrival.
When he sat down I did expect a quick apology or a simple explanation for his tardiness, but I received neither.
I immediately observed that he was rigorously stroking the palms of his hands on his jeans. After a good 30 straight seconds, I had to ask.
“Are you OK? You seem a little anxious and you keep rubbing your legs.”
“Yeah yeah. I’m good. It just feels good and calms me down a bit.”
I noticed that he had yet to order a beverage and suggested it might help calm his nerves.
“No. No no. I don’t think I can drink anything. That won’t help.”
He then turned around to the couple behind us and sheepishly requested that they stop speaking so loudly because it was causing him to feel uncomfortable (I couldn’t even hear them).
“I have to ask, Bryan. Are you high?”
“I did eat a weed gummy bear a bit ago and it kind of just hit me. Usually I smoke and I’m totally cool but this is the first time I’ve done this and it’s kind of tripping me out.”
I paid my tab and made my way back to the train.
I was impressed with his audacity to text me two days later requesting a do-over. Clearly it wasn’t a match and I politely declined, but I did tell him if he could hook me up with some good bud we could talk.
Send us your funny dating stories!