See Ya Later, Litigator

I have OK Cupid to thank for gracing my presence with the specimen that is Jesse.

Jesse was exceptionally intellectual, equipped with a PhD in philosophy, and was an accomplished corporate litigator. Being slightly intimidated by his achievements I was quite relieved when he suggested we meet at a divey hole-in-the-wall in Brooklyn where we both just so happened to reside.

Scholarly, gainfully employed AND not too pretentious? We are off to a promising start.

I ordered my typical Jack and Coke while Jesse opted for a Patron Silver with lime.

We sipped on our beverages while discussing the peculiar personalities we both encounter at our places of employment and our rapidly approaching milestone birthdays, mine being my 30th and his the dreaded 40th.

As the remainder of ours drinks went down the hatch I was fully expecting Jesse to suggest we order another round as the conversation seemed to be flowing quite effortlessly.

He slammed his glass onto the timber countertop with an obvious sense of finality.

“So, where are we doing this? My place or yours?” He asked rather aggressively.

“Come again?” I said, thinking that I must have misunderstood the words that were being spewed from his supposedly intelligent mouth.

“Sorry, I haven’t been single for very long and I’m not sure how these apps work and what not.”

“I mean…they work just like this. We get drinks, we decide if we want to see each other again and we see where it goes. There really isn’t a checklist of things to do,” I said, doing my best to educate him on the pervasive phenomenon that is dating from the Internet.

“Ah OK. Perhaps I should have been more clear. I just got out of a long relationship and I am actually just looking to have some fun, so if you want to grab a bottle of red and go back to my place we can do that, but if you’re actually looking for a relationship I don’t think I’m your guy.”

HAH. Peace.

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