Wined, Dined, Credit Card Declined

I met Josh on JDate and after exchanging pleasantries he invited me out for an evening.  I usually  like to keep first dates to drinks only  because I am not 100% sure that I will be able to stomach listening to the person for an entire meal, BUT, he insisted. He wanted to try a new restaurant that recently opened in the village and I graciously obliged.

As I was about to leave for the date I checked out the place on Yelp to figure out where it was located and what I should be wearing. I noticed the $$$$. Woah. OK big spender. It is certainly rolling the dice to drop that kind of coin on a meal for someone that could be a total crazy bitch for all you know. But whatever. I’m worth it…Right???

We sat down and he immediately asked the waiter a $120 bottle of Pinot Noir. Without even asking me if I had any preferences, he ordered Kobe beef carpaccio, tuna tar tar and an endive salad. This was followed by entrees, and even though I insisted on being absolutely stuffed,  he demanded the chocolate lava cake for desert.

As for the conversation, he was kind of a dick. All he spoke about was himself, how successful he was and how much cash he pulled in. Total. Douche.

Things took a turn for the worst when the bill came. The waitress came over and politely said, ‘I am sorry sir, this card was declined. Do you have another?’ With the way he was speaking, you would think he had a black card, but he conveniently left the rest of his cards at home that day.

Josh looked at me, laughed and said ‘Oh, well that’s embarrassing! Guess I will just have to get the next one then!’ How presumptuous.

I threw down my Visa and after parting with my hard earned $340 for an average dinner with shitty company, he had the nerve to ask when I will be free to go out again. To which I replied-

‘Whenever you’re ready to write me a check for the dinner I just bought you.’

I never heard from Josh again.

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Netflix and Kill

Adam actually gave me a glimmer of hope for a hot second until he fucked it up.

When it comes to dating, I am a bit old fashioned. I do prefer the man takes the reigns and plans the date. It isn’t hard to pick a decent cocktail bar in a city that boasts thousands of them. The date was refreshingly good. We had a few drinks and a few appetizers followed by some more drinks. We ended things with the obligatory drunk make out session in front of the subway.

After our little rendez-vous I had to leave town for the week. This could very well be a kiss of death for a fledgeling relationship, especially in New York City where there are so many options that one can get easily distracted if the other person leaves for even a weekend. Adam however, did a good job at keeping in touch. He would check in every other day to see what I was up to. It was enough to show me that I will still on his mind but not enough to annoy me.

The day I got back I was very much looking forward to seeing Adam again as he invited me out for dinner and drinks. After finishing my makeup and blow drying my hair, I received this:

Adam

WTF Adam???

This was the last time I spoke to Adam but he did have the audacity to hit me via another dating app. Way to kill it, Adam.

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The Rich Bitch Bait and Switch

My online dating tendencies tend to fluctuate depending on the time of year. With the cold creeping in and the sunlight so meager, it is officially netflix and chill season. It also doesn’t help that every time I login to any social networking forum, all I see are giant diamonds and happy families with babies standing in front of  Christmas trees reminding me how pathetic I feel spending a good chunk of my nights on the couch with my cats in my tiny one bedroom apartment eating mozzarella sticks.

So it was time to put myself back in the game. I downloaded Tinder (for the fifth time) and was ready to seize the day.

I matched with David.

I am not a fan of guys that brag about their success, but I try to be sensitive to the fact that with so much competition, perhaps it is quite nerve racking to try to impress a woman and stand out from the crowd. While chatting via text, David mentioned that he owns a home in Connecticut, and has a place in the city.   David also mentioned he was an avid traveler and was always up for an exotic adventure. What intrigued me the most was that he said he started his own hedge fund. Being a business owner myself, I thought this was a interesting thing to have in common.

Hard working, ambitious, and a traveler like me. Perhaps this could be a nice fit.

Wrong. So wrong.

As we sit down for drinks, David proceeds to tell me about his exotic travels. To Alabama. And South Dakota. IN HIS MINI VAN.  He also says that he has never left the country and has no desire to. Here I am looking for a partner to join me on future trips to Cambodia or Amsterdam and this asshole is trying to tell me how much fun it is to sleep in the back of a Town & Country and shower with baby wipes. No thanks, brah.

After explaining to me how he has debilitating ADHD and has dated several women who went to rehab for alcohol abuse, mister ‘I-have-a-house-in-Connecticut-and-a-place-in-the-city’ proceeds to tell me that he lives with his brother and his family in Connecticut and doesn’t have to pay rent so long as he watches the kids when need be, and OH YEAH, that place in the city is actually his parents’, but he can crash on the couch whenever he wants. As for the ‘hedge fund,’ he said it was a bit of a ‘work in progress,’ but for now, he was using his mini van to be an uber driver in Connecticut.

Needless to say, this wasn’t a match.
Rich B_1

RIch B_2

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Cappuccino Cheapskate

I was excited to accept this date as it was the first time in awhile that I would be meeting someone organically as opposed to online. I am usually not into coffee dates as they seem more like job interviews. I prefer to get a cocktail somewhere because a little social lubrication never hurts on a blind date. But alas, I agreed to meet Jeff at Starbucks for a delicious non-alcoholic beverage.

The first thing I notice is that he is already holding what looks to be like a fresh hot cup of coffee. From McDonald’s. When he saw the inquisitive look on my face he said “Oh, I got this from across the street. I don’t like buying coffee at Starbucks, it’s much too expensive.” Wow. OK. After an awkward pause I stood in line to buy my own coffee while he sat comfortably in his chair.

At this point I was already convinced that this douche was not my soulmate, but what really put the nail in the coffin was the apology he offered me.

“Sorry for not wanting to spend too much money on things like coffee. I recently finalized my divorce and my ex wife really took me to the cleaners and now I am pretty broke.”

Yeah, I’m sorry too.

The Supposed Scottish Smokeshow

I had good feelings about this one. I have always had a thing for accents, ones from the UK in particular. They definitely tend to make the panties feel a little loose. However, when I walked into the cozy wine bar in Soho, my high hopes were quickly destroyed.

I am not sure if his pictures were someone else or severely photoshopped, but it was definitely a far cry from the Scottish smoke show I saw on his Hinge profile.

Regen had an excruciatingly high-pitched laugh that you could hear from Staten Island and it filled the room. And he laughed at EVERYTHING.  I could just feel all eyes on us when he found something even remotely amusing. Every person was aware of how annoying it was but him.

Now I realize it may seem like I am a bit harsh on guys I go on dates with but I do appreciate that they are human beings trying to put themselves out there just like me. Unless the guy is a total asshole, I always engage in friendly conversation. Regen wanted to get to know more about me which I appreciated, but he went about it all wrong.

Regen: So, are you happy in life?

Me: uh…yeah. I’m happy.

Regen: Well what does that happiness mean to you? What exactly makes you happy? I know you may be used to guys being shallow on first dates but I really want to dig deeper and get to know who you are and get the core of you.

Me: Um. I don’t know, family, friends, travel. I’m happy. So do you have brothers and sisters?

Regen: But family and friends can’t just make you happy. You have to find happiness inside yourself and not rely on others to make you happy. So are you really happy??

Me: This is getting way too deep. I’m thinking the surface is more my style.

He continued to badger me about the meaning of life and happiness until I was clearly annoyed. I finished my glass of wine and when he asked if I would like another I politely declined.

“So how about we grab a drink back at my place then?”

UGH. I don’t think I could have made it anymore obvious that there was not a snowball’s chance in hell I would ever sleep with him. After receiving a major stink eye, I was finally free.

I get not 20 feet away from the restaurant and receive this little gem.regenregenUntitled 1If you have a story about an awful first date that you would like to share with our readers please email us at:

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Everyone, Meet Charles.

Charles is quite a rare jewel and was actually  the muse that really inspired this blog. I met him on Match.com and woke up to this masterpiece the morning before our date.  Charles, I am not sure what you are doing now, but I am sure you are making some lucky lady very happy (or at least very entertained).

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Welcome to the Society…

Hello. We are a group of close friends in our late 20s  that Iive on a 33.7 square mile island of concrete jungle called New York City. We were inspired to start this blog because we want a memoir of all the experiences we have in trying to find love in the big city because quite frankly, it’s friggin’ hilarious.

Let’s be clear, this isn’t Sex in the City. Not even close. Life in this town isn’t all cosmos and fashion shows (as much as some who move here want it to be). Most apartments look like a glorified closet that at one point could have been a meth lab, yet it is still just on the brink of what we can afford.

Looking for a partner in this sprawling metropolis seems like it would be a cakewalk considering there is a wealth of young eligible men and women. This is far from reality especially in a world where we have more websites and applications in which we can essentially ‘shop for people’ than we know what to do with. The influx leads to infinite choice, infinite possibility, and mostly infinite encounters that are so bizarre they couldn’t be fictional if we tried.

It can be quite disheartening coming home way more drunk than you should be on a Tuesday night because the handsome architect you were excited to meet all week turned out to be a stage-5 clinging momma’s boy that was definitely 40 lbs heavier in person than on his Tinder pictures.

But alas! We fret no more. These are stories that have brought us closer together as girlfriends over a glass of wine and a laugh. We will embrace these stories, the good, the bad and the downright ugly.

If you have a good story, question or any thoughts you would like to share with the TheSingleSociety, please feel free to email  us at:        contact@thesinglesociety.com.