Ok so you found a cute, seemingly normal guy in the sea of douche bags we unfortunately call our dating pool. In a poll of 20 or so women, here are the things guys do that will inevitably piss us off before we even meet.
- Picking a place that is right next to their apartment yet entirely inconvenient for her.
New York is a pretty easy place to get around, but meeting in the middle isn’t asking a lot. If getting to a meeting point involves more that 2 transfers on a subway or crossing more than one river, we’re going to be pissed. Of course there are exceptions, such as if you have been discussing a place in particular. Countless guys will suggest we meet at bar that is on their block. That tells us either you’re lazy as hell, or you are blatantly trying to take us back to your place after.
**extra points to the gentlemen that offer to meet somewhere in the lady’s neighborhood.
2. Trying too hard to start conversations via text before the date
I get it, you want to appear that you are trying to get to know us, but that is the whole point of a date. We will get to know each other then. If the chemistry and conversation aren’t there in person it doesn’t matter how pleasant our conversation was via text. Make a plan, follow up. Well share life goals and decide if we want to eventually see each other naked when we meet face to face.
**if there is going to be quite a bit of time until you are able to meet, texting to ask about someones week or something simple is nice. Save getting to know each other for the date though.
- Canceling last minute
I get it, shit happens. Deadlines get moved up, flights get delayed and people get salmonella. But for Christ’s sake, show up for the dates you plan when humanly possible. Don’t be the asshole who has the nerve to say that he got too drunk the night before. Everyone is busy so be considerate of other people’s time. Also, if you need to ask for a raincheck, have a plan right away to meet again a few days later.
- Not following up early enough for a date
As demonstrated in number 3, there are always plenty of flakes and everyones time is valuable. If you planned a date and haven’t spoken in a few days, follow up early in the day. Before noon preferably. No one wants to wait around checking their phone to see if a date is still on for that night. If we don’t hear from you at a reasonable time, we assume we are being flaked on and want to make other plans before it is too late so this could lead to you missing out.
- Not picking a place, or picking a place that makes no sense for a first date
It’s simple. Man up and pick a place. There are tons of restaurants in this city. There is no bigger turn off than a guy that is wishy washy and can’t just take the reigns and decide. You also have to be mindful of your choice. Is a live jazz bar really an easy place to have a conversation? Is the dive or the Irish pub more of a place to get smashed with you buddies during the football game? Wine bars are always a great way to go. The cozier the better. Bitches love wine bars! Also, if you are going out in a neighborhood that you are unfamiliar with, there is this great little invention called Yelp. Use it.
- Texting late at night asking to hang out
I feel I don’t need to say much about this. Texting us after you have been out drinking to ask if we want to ‘meet up’ or ‘hang out’ is a bush league move. It’s desperate. It’s sleazy. Don’t do it.
I hope this will shed some light upon the common mistakes that are often made that can easily lead to a missed connection.
If there is something that really makes you tick or you have a story that demonstrates one of these dating faux pas, let us know!