No Train, No Shame

Shortly after the recent Christmas holiday I decided to heed a close friend’s advice and ring in the new year with a subscription to a dating site called The Inner Circle. The site avidly claims that all of their members are guaranteed to be ‘carefully selected, and cleverly connected.’

What could possibly go wrong?

A day or two after I arrived back to the city from a week in Wisconsin with my family I agreed to a date with Christian, a fair-skinned Scandinavian-looking stock trader who resided in Morristown, New Jersey.

Christian chivalrously offered to make the trek on the NJ Transit to my neighborhood in the East Village for some cocktails and possibly a bite to eat. Being a typical Manhattanite, I loathe the sheer thought of leaving the comfort of this little island I call home, so clearly I did not object.

When I arrived at the romantic French bistro he selected I found Christian patiently waiting for me at the table he reserved sipping on a what appeared to be a Scotch whiskey on the rocks served with a twist of lemon.

After bonding over some witty banter about how nice it was to be back in our own homes subsequent to being surrounded by family members for what seemed like an eternity Christian surprisingly took the liberty of ordering a lobster salad, sea scallop risotto and a plate of sopressata with Manchego cheese.

We finished what I thought to be the meal in its entirety when Christian asked what I would prefer for my main course. I politely declined insisting that I’d had beyond my fill, but Christian was adamant that we at least split a Chilean sea bass with a side of broccoli and sweet potato fries.

The meal was undeniably delicious, and despite the lack of remaining space in my stomach I managed to slip in a few bites. We finished up the meal, and though I intended on splitting the bill Christian relentlessly insisted on picking up the tab for the pricey endeavor.

At this point I was thinking that perhaps I did finally meet a well-mannered suitor and wanted to offer up my heartfelt appreciation for him treating me to such a lovely evening.

“Thank you so much for such a nice dinner. It was amazing and I really appreciate you taking me out,” I said sincerely.

“Oh, you are welcome… Soooo does this mean I don’t have to take a train back to Jersey tonight?” He asked sanguinely.

Wow. No. You are definitely taking the train back to Jersey.”

“Ah. Can’t blame me for asking. Are you sure though? Morristown is a bit of a hike and this was a nice dinner.”

I once again objected Christian’s request to spend the night at my apartment and never heard from him again.

So much for my well-mannered suitor, but at least I got a good meal out of it.


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