Meathead Mishap

I met Brett, a  particularly chiseled personal trainer/fitness entrepreneur, on Bumble. Though I am one to typically avoid the gym selfie-taking meat heads that are ever so prevalent in the online dating scene, he was clearly well educated and quite charming, so I figured I would give him the benefit of the doubt.

For our date we settled into a few corner bar stools at an intimate pub on the Upper East Side to get better acquainted.

When Brett stood up to greet me I noticed that he was clearly as muscular (if not more) than his photos, but stood around 5’4, which is a far cry from the 5’7 that was advertised in his profile,

We summoned the bartender and I ordered my usual bourbon and ginger while Brett opted for…water.

Now I do not judge anyone who decides against the consumption of alcoholic beverages, but I also detest drinking alone.

“Just going to stick to water today. I try to only drink one night a week. Alcohol is where the calories will get you!” He said.

“Well, you work out every day, right? That should cancel out any drinking I would think. I definitely drink more than once a week, but I still try to get on the treadmill everyday for at least 30 mins so the liquor doesn’t catch up to me too much.”

“I don’t get that. Working out just makes me feel good and alcohol makes me feel like shit. Plus, you may be ‘canceling out calories,’ but are you really making any improvements on your body?” he asked, obviously perplexed by my lifestyle choices.

“As long as I am in good shape and I look and feel good in a bikini I am alright. I live alone in New York City and love to be social. That just happens to be what my friends do…we drink. I am also running around the city all day for my job so that certainly keeps me active and in shape.”

“You do have a nice body, which I can tell, but if you just traded 3 days of drinking for 3 days of actual hard work you would be really hot.”

Immediately after the words left his mouth he knew that his bad case of word vomit was going to have some serious repercussions.

“That is probably the most idiotic thing anyone has ever said to me on a date. I may be trying to workout to compensate my social drinking habits but at least I am not trying to overcompensate for how short I am.  I will let you grab these drinks. Have a great night.”

With that I grabbed my handbag, and hightailed it out for the quintessential backup plan one usually has when a date goes south…such as this one.

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