Gettin’ Jimmy With It

Twenty minutes into my first date with Tyler, an unostentatious Harvard business school gentleman with defectless oral hygiene and     particularly athletic stature, I thought I had hit the jackpot.

Subsequent to chatting on Bumble for the better part of the week we met for drinks at an upscale lounge in the Gramercy neighborhood of Manhattan.

After two hours of conversing about our favorite cuisines, summer bucket lists and our mutual distaste for the New England Patriots, we moved on to discussing our plans for vacation being that we both work in the education field and are blessed with the gift of summer recession.

“I am planning on taking my kids down to Disney World. I am just afraid my youngest one will be too small to get on the rides though,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Kids? Oh…You have kids?” I asked,  secretly praying that he was referring to his nieces and/or nephews.

“Yeah! I have three. Sorry, did I not mention that?”

“No, no you did not,” I said, attempting to hide my despondency.

“Yes. I got divorced about 3 months ago. We are still living in the same house though. We are really trying the be ‘the new normal’ and live under one roof with the kids at least until they are a bit older. Hasn’t been the smoothest transition but we are making it work.”

After the revelation of his strangely progressive domestic situation it was clear that this fledgling ‘relationship’ would never amount to anything meaningful. However, I still had 3/4 of a California Pinot Noir to finish, so I decided to satisfy my curiosity but inquiring as to how this peculiar arrangement all came to fruition.

To spare you the details, he was caught ‘getting intimate’ with someone.

That someone was his wife’s cousin.

Her cousin’s name is Jimmy.


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