Chivalry Isn’t D….Oh Wait, Yes It Is.

I was excited to finally be off the waiting list and an official member of a dating app entitled ‘The League’ where its participants are pre-qualified to ensure that everyone is educated and gainfully employed. Being that I possess both of these attributes, I was looking forward to finding the same.

I matched with Andrew. Andrew was a 38 year-old Princeton graduate who worked as a quantitative trader for a hedge fund here in the city. His hair was quite disheveled and his pants just barely grazed the tops of his ankles, but there was something about his nerdy characteristics that I found particularly endearing.

We settled into a table on the rooftop of the Hudson Hotel overlooking the beautiful views of Manhattan and sipped on some red Sangria.

The weather, the view and the drinks were undoubtedly ¬†gratifying, but the conversation was terribly monotonous. We proceeded through the motions of chatting about where we grew up, went to school and…I dunno. Whatever else.

After my second glass of Sangria I casually mentioned how late it was getting and that I had a meeting early the following morning in order to wrap things up.

We exited the hotel, and to my surprise Andrew attempted to demonstrate an act of chivalry that I had considered long vanished.

“If you don’t mind, I would love to be a gentleman and treat you to your cab home,” he said sanguinely.

Flattered and not wanting to insult the man, I graciously accepted his generous offer.

At this point I was expecting him to nobly step to the curb, hail me a yellow taxi and open the door, or to summon an Uber from his cell phone, but neither of these scenarios came to fruition.

Andrew pulled his wallet from his back pocket and slapped a bill in my hand.

I was even more astonished by this act when I looked down to see a $100 note.

“Sorry, I don’t have anything smaller,” he said begrudgingly.

“Oh, no please, I’m not taking this. The train is right here and will actually be much faster,” I said, somehow feeling like a prostitute when I didn’t even have sex.

After exchanging insists about who was to leave with the Benjamin he finally placed it back inside his bill fold.

Considering he was so adamant about displaying his courteous manners, I completely expected him to escort me to the entrance of the subway.

Nope. That didn’t happen.

Andrew jumped in his own car and was gone with the wind.

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