Cappuccino Cheapskate

I was excited to accept this date as it was the first time in awhile that I would be meeting someone organically as opposed to online. I am usually not into coffee dates as they seem more like job interviews. I prefer to get a cocktail somewhere because a little social lubrication never hurts on a blind date. But alas, I agreed to meet Jeff at Starbucks for a delicious non-alcoholic beverage.

The first thing I notice is that he is already holding what looks to be like a fresh hot cup of coffee. From McDonald’s. When he saw the inquisitive look on my face he said “Oh, I got this from across the street. I don’t like buying coffee at Starbucks, it’s much too expensive.” Wow. OK. After an awkward pause I stood in line to buy my own coffee while he sat comfortably in his chair.

At this point I was already convinced that this douche was not my soulmate, but what really put the nail in the coffin was the apology he offered me.

“Sorry for not wanting to spend too much money on things like coffee. I recently finalized my divorce and my ex wife really took me to the cleaners and now I am pretty broke.”

Yeah, I’m sorry too.

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