Bitches Be Crazy

I met Tara on Tinder. She was athletic and not so bad on the eyes so I was eager to meet her the following weekend. Tara was exactly as advertised in her profile pictures and we had a nice long conversation on the first date. I was looking forward to seeing where things would go.

I suggested for the following Friday to meet at a wine bar by her office in the Flatiron District. We drank probably 3 bottles of Cabernet between the two of us, it was fair to say we were quite inebriated. After making out on our bar stools for about 10 minutes she suggested going back to her apartment. Normally, I am apprehensive about going back to someone’s apt after the 2nd date but I was pretty drunk and it was a while since I got laid, so into an Uber we went.

She lived on the UWS and had a fairly nice apartment. She failed to mention to me that she had a cat (warning sign), but I looked passed it. We did the deed and I stayed the night.

I play in one of the city’s social sports leagues and had a game the following morning, so I needed to get home and get ready. We said our goodbyes and I felt that things were going great.

After my game I went to check my phone only to discover  had 27 text messages and 6 voicemails. I automatically assumed the worst and thought a family member passed away.

To my surprise, shock and horror, they were all from Tara. The voicemails were 2-3 minutes each and the text messages were lengthy. They started with niceties, then went to “why are you ignoring me?”, then to “you’re a fucking asshole for ignoring me”, to finally her self-loathing and saying no one wanted her.

Needless to say, I had to end this quickly. I blocked her on every communication possible after I told her I could no longer see her.

That was the last time I was on Tinder.

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