An Ungodly Experience

After a late afternoon at the office I was rushing from the 6 train to an intimate wine bar in NoLiTa to meet Gavin, a publishing executive with interests that included indoor soccer leagues, craft beer and his labrador retriever. With shaggy blonde hair and fetching hazel eyes, I was very much looking forward to getting to know this new prospect.

We sat down and he immediately charmed me by pointing out how my pictures didn’t do me justice. Whether he was being genuine or simply offering up a line for the sake of flattery, it definitely turned my olive skinned cheeks to a pale shade of pink.

Though he did come off as slightly introverted upon first meeting, after his second pint of New Belgium Fat Tire Ale the conversation seemed to become more effortless.

In a statement that felt completely out of left field he suddenly said, “So I noticed on your profile under your faith it said you were agnostic.”

“Yes, yes I am. I don’t really follow any sort of religion in particular,” I replied.

“Oh. Well isn’t that such an empty existence? What do you really even have to live for? Are you aware that Jesus Christ died for your sins so you could be saved?”

“Umm…I have plenty to live for. I don’t believe that there is nothing out there, I just don’t agree with organized religion. Not my thing. How about we don’t talk about religion? It is kind of a heavy subject for a first date.”

Clearly not wanting to abandon the all too invasive conversation about my religious beliefs (or lack there of), it began to unfold why he was actually interested in making my acquaintance that evening.

“Listen, I am really not looking for a girlfriend so much but I did want to meet you to see if you would be interested in coming to church with me. It really does pain me to see people that are not aware of what bringing Jesus Christ into your life can do and I feel that it was God’s plan to match with you and others to help guide you to a life with the holy spirit,” he said.

I am not quite sure what made me more infuriated, the fact that he did not eventually want to sleep with me or the fact that the 35 minutes it took me to get to the establishment is time I will never get back, but that’s neither here nor there.

“So let me get this straight, you are going around dating sites and looking for people who are not Christian and attempting to convert them and have no intention of actually dating them?” I asked.

“Like I said, it just seems like it is God’s plan for me to help people and it brings me such joy. If I do find someone that accepts Jesus into their heart and we click than ever better!”

I bid Gavin a disparaging farewell and left him to foot the bill.

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